Join L.A.U.G.H. - Do Your Duty As A Law Abiding Citizen And Have Fun Helping The Police Arrest Hunters


So, at long last (and with absolutely no thanks to the Labour Party or to Tony Blair) it looks as if hunting will soon be banned and as illegal as bear baiting, cock fighting and slavery. The hunters are taking it badly, poor dears. The thought of being deprived of the chance to chase stags, foxes and other wild creatures over the fields and through woodlands and gardens has driven them even pottier. Maybe it's the knowledge that they will soon have to buy pieces of liver from the local supermarket if they want to smear themselves with blood. Maybe they will just miss their ritual killings.

Many of the (soon to be) ex-hunters are now arrogantly shouting that they will defy the law and continue to hunt. Tut tut. When hunting was legal they were all such law abiding citizens - demanding that hunt sabs be hung, drawn and quartered for daring to interfere with the legal activities of the hunts. 'They won't stop me!' they cry. `I'll defy the law.'

Ah, what sweet joy this will be. How quickly they will capitulate when they are cornered by the police, tossed into vans, held in the cells and given criminal records.

What fun this is going to be.

Now it's our turn to see the hunters become the hunted.

The Welsh Princess and I have set up an informal organisation called LAUGH.

It stands for League Against Unlawful Grouping of Hounds.

And it is our task to help the police make sure that the new law against hunting is not broken.

We are forming a sort of Neighbourhood Watch for foxes and other animals.

If you would like to help us, and to become a good upstanding citizen, helping the police do their duty, here is what you do.

Keep an eye on your local paper and make a note of the names of all the local dignitaries, hunters and hunt supporters who are boasting that they will break the law.

Snip out the quotes.

Then all you have to do is send copies of the cuttings to the local police. The Government is constantly encouraging us to help the police stamp out crime. Let's do our duty.

Threatening to break the law, cause a breach of the peace, create public disorder and continue hunting is bound to be against several of Blunkett's new fascist laws. Would it not indeed be a conspiracy if several hunters announced their intention to break the law?

If you see a magistrate threatening to break the law (as some have done) report him to the Lord Chancellor. Magistrates who threaten to be lenient with hunters and hunt supporters will need to be removed from the bench.

If you hear about a solicitor saying that he will break the law, let the Law Society know. And the GMC will doubtless want to know about doctors who threaten to break the law. It is your duty to stop such criminal behaviour. Join LAUGH immediately.

After reporting hunters to the police it would be in the interests of the law abiding community for you to chase up the authorities to find out what action they have taken.

Keep an eye on local papers, local TV programmes, local radio programmes and so on.

Do your duty as a loyal, law abiding citizen.

Help us make sure that the new anti-hunting legislation is obeyed.

Joining LAUGH won't cost you a penny.

But knowing that you are helping to protect our nation against law breaking hooligans will make you feel warm inside.

Tell your friends about LAUGH. Encourage them to join.


Copyright Vernon Coleman 2004