Startling New Rules for Cyclists - Official

Vernon Coleman





The authors of the British Roadway Code have published a special appendix dealing with cyclists and cycling. The new regulations were written with the knowledge and understanding that only the drivers of motorised vehicles pay a tax to use the roads. Cyclists are, ipso facto, there by the generosity of paying road users.

Here are the new regulations, which were especially designed to improve safety on the road and to enhance the relationship between motorists and cyclists.

1. When coming up to pass a cyclist, a motorist should give a long beep on the vehicle’s horn.
2. When a cyclist hears a car approaching from either direction, he or she must dismount from his or her machine and stand to attention beside it on the pavement.
3. When passing a cyclist, the motorist should wave two fingers in recognition of the fact that the cyclist is operating a machine with two wheels.
4. Cyclists must not re-join the highway until they are satisfied that there are no vehicles approaching from either direction.
5. In towns and cities, all cyclists must walk alongside their machines. Riding a bicycle in a built up area is an offence under the ‘Don’t Annoy Motorists Because They Pay For The Roads Act’.
6. It is an offence for any cyclist to wear tight fitting Lycra. Research has shown that many motorists find Lycra particularly offensive.
7. It is an offence for any cyclist to have a camera fitted to his person or machine.
8. Cyclists who fall off their machines should remove themselves and their machines to the side of the road with all haste in order to avoid inconveniencing motorists.
9. If a cyclist and a motorist are in dispute then the motorist is always right.
10. Cyclists must carry a large flashing light on their heads at all times to ensure that they are clearly visible to proper road users.

Copyright Vernon Coleman 2017

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