The Last Word On Politicians



Q.
What's the difference between a politician and a gigilo?
A.
A gigilo only screws one person at a time.


Q.
Why do they bury politicians under 40 feet of soil?
A.
Because deep, deep down they are good people.

Q.
Why do some people take an instant dislike to politicians?
A.
It saves time.


Q.
What is a politician doing when he grasps at thin air?
A.
Gathering his thoughts.

Q.
Why is there the skeleton of a politician in the under stairs cupboard?
A.
He's last year's hide and seek champion.



Q. What do you call a hundred politicians at the bottom of a septic tank?
A.
A good start.

Q.
What do you get when you throw a politician off the top of the Eiffel Tower?
A.
Who cares?

Q.
What did the politician yell when he witnessed an accident?
A.
What's the number for 999?

Q.
Why do politicians like to be buried in shallow graves?
A.
So that they can still get a handout.

Q.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Land Rover with two politicians inside it?
A.

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Q.
What do you get if you put 50 politicians in your basement?
A.
A whine cellar.

Q.
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A.
None. Politicians are too self-important to change light bulbs.

Q.
How can you tell when a politician is lying?
A.
His lips are moving.

Q.
How do you get a politician out of a tree?
A.
Cut the rope.

Q.
What's the difference between a politician and a bucket of shit?
A.
The bucket.

Q.
What does a politician use for birth control?
A.
His personality.

Q.
What do you say to the politician in the three piece suit?
A.
Will the defendant please rise.

Q.
Why doesn't the Post Office produce stamps bearing pictures of modern politicians?
A.
People wouldn't be able to decide which side to spit on.



Copyright Vernon Coleman 2004


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