We Should All Vote for Corbyn!
I have seen the light.
Modern politics is all about self-interest.
The Millenials want Corbyn in power because he has promised them loads of free money and extra holidays.
And they want to stay in the EU because they are worried that if we leave they wonít be able to buy BMWs and cappuccinos. A true Brexit would have led to freedom, independence, democracy and wealth. But those things would have come tomorrow, not now. And millenials want everything now.
It all sounds superficial and selfish but itís the new socialist, lefty, way.
And Corbyn, who seems to have the intellectual and emotional age of a poorly developed 15-year-old, has captured the mood of the new zeitgeist perfectly.
(After the recent fire in London, Theresa May did the adult, useful, boring thing. She went to talk to the fire chiefs and the emergency services. Corbyn? I bet he was out there giving out hugs and posing for selfies and probably some of his trademark misplaced bosom slapping high fives too. Social media despised the sensible approach and enthusiastically applauded the promotional alternative. Corbyn is a politician in the same way that Lily Allen and Gary Lineker are politicians.)
My old-fashioned sense of responsibility for the future led me to believe that austerity was essential for our nationís survival.
Gordon Brown left Britain with massive debts which have been growing ever since. (The debt continued to grow throughout the Osborne years).
The logical, sensible inclination is to believe that the national debt must be reduced. After all, a nation which has unpaid, growing debts eventually finds itself impoverished and unable to fund any government programmes. Ask the Greeks or the Argentinians.
But Millenials, who now control the nation through social media, donít want any austerity because it is a painful process. They donít give a damn about the future. They care only about now. They want more free money and more free holidays. And they want it now. And a cappuccino with extra double sprinkles too and be quick about it.
Well, Iím tired.
Let the daft buggers have what they want.
The nation will be utterly fucked, of course.
But thatís a small price to pay.
A few decades down the line (just when todayís 25-year-olds are feeling creaky and thinking of retirement) there wonít be any money left for pensions, health care or anything else. And Britain wonít be able to borrow because our debts will be too huge for anyone to trust us with more loans.
But thatís not my problem, is it?
I believe in patriotism and paying off debts because Iím an old fart.
But thatís all out of fashion now.
As far as I am concerned, the present will be much better if the nation borrows more and spends more money it hasnít got. The millennials will shut up and enjoy the extra spending. And, who knows, the council might go back to collecting the rubbish as often as once a fortnight.
We oldies will be the recipients of this borrowed largesse and we wonít ever have to pay for it.
And we can make money out of it too.
The minute Corbyn gets into Downing Street the pound will collapse. Inflation will then soar and interest rates will have to rise to more sensible and rewarding levels.
We can get rich by selling UK investments and buying foreign shares and property so that we are hedged against the fall in sterling. Gold, oil, dollars and even euros. (Note: the use of oil is still soaring globally Ė and itís running out.)
So, bring it on!
Letís have Corbyn in No 10. Letís abandon austerity, good sense and responsibility for the future.
The price will be massive.
But we old farts wonít have to pay it.
The older you are the more sense a Corbyn government makes.
We will have happy, wealthy years, enjoying a present paid for by the millenials.
The millenials will eventually have to pay the price for the Corbyn largesse with very high taxes, no benefits, no pensions and a total collapse in public services.
But thatís their choice.
Who gives a damn?
Copyright Vernon Coleman 2017
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