Covid Cobblers

Dr Vernon Coleman

1. Mainstream media now say that large numbers of people were already protected from the coronavirus before the alleged pandemic started – because of previous exposure to the common cold. Why did it take them nearly two years to report the obvious truth? I don’t suppose all those bribes from governments (in the guise of advertising expenditure) had anything to do with the delay. Shame on the media. We will not forget nor forgive their betrayal.

2. Pro-vaxxers such as Whitty, Jones, etc., seem desperate for publicity. They are forever on television sharing their `wisdom’ with the unfortunate and sometimes still trusting masses.

3. Scientists are now suggesting (including on the BBC) that jabs should end and we should all live with covid (the rebranded flu). I’ve been banned from all social media for saying exactly that. So when is the BBC going to be banned?

4. IKEA, a Swedish store that makes what I think is the world’s most disgusting furniture, is cutting sick pay for the un-jabbed staff who are self-isolating. Boycott IKEA, say I. Buy good old fashioned, brown furniture made in England – it will last much longer. `Brown furniture is green’ should be our new slogan.

5. Public Health Scotland admits that four out of ten people in Scottish hospitals allegedly there with covid are being primarily treated for other conditions. (Hospitals cannot stop exaggerating, though, can they?) What a shock this must be to someone.

6. English football club Chester (in the English city of Chester, surprisingly) has been warned that it is in breach of Welsh covid regulations. The Welsh claim the stadium is located in Wales and so the club is subject to Drakeford Rules. (The rules in England and Wales are different, of course.) It seems Drakeford et al are not satisfied with buggering up Wales. They now want to bugger up England. I await Drakeford’s views on Australia and Djokovich with interest. Maybe Welsh rules apply in Australia too. Meanwhile, to show solidity with Chester, a group in England has called for a temporary boycott of everything made in Wales (so no more of those big, black witches’ hats and no rock with Llandudno written all the way through). I’m sure my Welsh readers will understand the need for this action – designed solely to attract the attention of the Drakeford.

7. French president Macron has vowed to piss off the un-jabbed. I rather thought the nasty little man had already done that. We should boycott everything made in France. How many berets does an Englishman need?

8. King’s College Hospital in London says they could lose 1,000 staff members if mandatory jabs are brought in for health care workers. I don’t think the Government in the UK will dare introduce mandatory jabs for health care workers. If they do then it is clear that they are keen to destroy what remains of the NHS as quickly as possible.

9. A woman in Scotland says she cannot get fertility treatment because she is un-jabbed. The evil Scottish government has apparently deferred fertility treatment for all patients who are not fully jabbed. This is the thin end of a very large wedge. Activists are already planning a boycott of everything made in Scotland and that will doubtless be a shock for the makers of haggis, kilts and tam o’shanters.

10. The UK Health Security Agency has been warned by the Office for Statistics Regulation after producing `implausible covid statistics’. It seems that health secretary Sajid Javid is guilty of spreading misinformation. Gosh. What a surprise that is. A health minister spreading misinformation. Difficult to believe, isn’t it?

Copyright Vernon Coleman January 2022

Vernon Coleman’s international bestseller `How to stop your doctor killing you’ is available as a paperback and an eBook.