We Need Our Own Dalai Lama

Vernon Coleman

Britain needs a monarch. We need someone who doesn’t have political power to be Head of State. We need ribbons to be cut and buildings opened by someone who is aloof from the political fray. Otherwise we would end up with a President and there’s a good chance we’d end up with an Anglo Saxon version of Macron.

But we have far too many royals. They are breeding like rabbits and the cost to the country is becoming unbearable. Too few of them are prepared to find proper work and look after themselves.

We need to make a change.

The current lot in Buckingham Palace aren’t even thoroughly English. They are a mixture of German, English and Greek blood.

So why don’t we get rid of the Windsors and replace them with our own equivalent of the Dalai Lama?

It’s a simple idea.

The Privy Councillors pick a baby and appoint him or her as our Monarch. Do it in the same way that the Dalai Lama is selected.

When our Dalai Lama dies, the Privy Councillors pick a young replacement and groom him to take over the waving and ribbon cutting duties.

Our Dalai Lama can’t marry and must live a chaste life so there are no heirs.

There will be no Edward and Andrew to leech off the state for decades.


We’ll have an independent Head of State with no fuss and at a very modest cost. Even Republicans would go for it.

Copyright Vernon Coleman May 2019