New French Fines Startle Tourists

Vernon Coleman

Anyone who wolf whistles in France will, in future, be fined approximately £300 (though probably in some scruffy local currency).

Other fines of a similar nature are being considered. I have obtained a list of the offences and the fines which are likely to be introduced. Some of the offences are actions and some are unsuitable remarks.

Please note that only foreigners will be fined.

‘Your hair looks nice today’ – £150
‘That dress suits you’ – £225
‘Where did you get that handbag?’ – £27.84
‘You’ve got a lovely suntan!’ – £40
‘Have you lost weight?’ – £461
‘Good shot!’ – £270
Wolf whistling – £300
Wolf whistling out of tune – £500
Pinching bottom of plump tourist – £120
Pinching bottom of skinny tourist – £289
Pinching bottom of plump French person - £1.50
Pinching bottom of skinny French person – £0.75p
Whistling a tune not written by a French composer – £376
Tooting a horn in Paris – £0.04p
Walking on the road – £312
Walking on the pavement – £420
Waving a rude gesture involving one or more fingers – £29
Waving a rude gesture involving both hands – £30
Talking on mobile phone while driving – £0.01
Ripping off a tourist – £0.00
Not ripping off a tourist – £780

Copyright Vernon Coleman 2018