If Britain Leaves the EU Father Christmas Will No Longer Visit British Homes

by Dr Vernon Coleman MB ChB DSc

We’ve learned two things from the EU referendum campaign.

First, most of those who are campaigning so vigorously for Britain to remain in the European Union are doing so for selfish reasons rather than because they care for Britain. Bankers and company bosses want Britain to retain its membership because their companies will benefit from the EU’s regulatory framework which is good for big companies and bad for small, growing companies. British politicians want to stay in the EU because they have their eyes on the gravy train – many retired or rejected British politicians have made huge amounts of money out of the EU. Foreign politicians interfere because it is in their country’s interests for Britain to stay in the EU. (For example, around 96% of Britons agreed that Obama wanted Britain to stay in the EU because that would make life easier for the USA – and not because he cares about Britain and the British.)

Second, the pro EU campaigners will say and do anything to scare Britons into voting to stay in the EU. Here are a few of the threats which Cameron, Osborne and the other fear mongers are doubtless planning:

1. Father Christmas will no longer visit British homes if Britain leaves the EU.
2. The tooth fairy will refuse to visit British children if their parents vote to leave.
3. Plague rats will be delivered to Britain in special EU sponsored ships.
4. British television will no longer be allowed to show football matches.
5. The BBC licence fee will soar because the BBC will no longer receive money from the EU.
6. Remaining EU countries will be put on special trains and planes to carry immigrants to Britain.
7. Germany will refuse to allow Britons to buy German made motor cars.
8. Global warming will affect Britain more than countries which remain in the EU.
9. Individuals who vote to leave the EU will be subject to a special 50% retrospective EU tax.
10. France and Spain will execute all British nationals and confiscate their property.

But all is not lost, say the EU’s defenders. If Britons vote to leave the EU they will be given more chances to vote – until they get the ‘right’ answer.

Copyright Vernon Coleman May 2016