Novels






Mrs Caldicot - Omnibus Edition: All four Mrs Caldicot novels in one volume
This Omnibus edition contains the full length versions of all four novels about Mrs Caldicot: Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War; Mrs Caldicot's Knickerbocker Glory; Mrs Caldicot's Oyster Parade and Mrs Caldicot's Turkish Delight.

To buy a copy of Mrs Caldicot - Omnibus Edition: All four Mrs Caldicot novels in one volume click here



The Man Who Inherited A Golf Course
The Man Who Inherited a Golf Course has sold over 30,000 hardback copies in the UK alone. This is the first time this novel has been available as an ebook and the first time it has been available outside the UK. Vernon Coleman is also the author of the bestseller Too Many Clubs and Not Enough Balls and the hugely successful bestselling Bilbury series.

To buy a copy of The Man Who Inherited A Golf Course click here



Too Many Clubs And Not Enough Balls
`Laugh out loud funny,' said Golf World. This is a book about people who lose balls, clubs, tempers and, on occasion, the course they're supposed to be playing; people who feel they are doing well if the ball they hit on the 18th green is the same ball they drove off the first tee. `Anyone who has played golf - or tried to play golf - will find this addictive book unputdownable. Highly recommended.'

To buy a copy of Too Many Clubs and Not Enough Balls click here



Village Cricket Tour
The Village Cricket Tour has sold over 45,000 hardback copies in the UK alone and has become a classic.
`I enjoyed it immensely. He has written a book that will entertain, amuse and warm the cockles of tired old hearts.' - Peter Tinniswood, Punch
`If anyone ever manages to bottle the essence of village cricket he will quickly scale the dizzy heights of personal fortune. In the meantime we read and write about it in the pursuit of understanding. Seminal reading should now embrace Vernon Coleman's latest offering, a whimsical piece about the peregrinations of a village team on its summer tour...all the characters are here, woven together by a raft of anecdotes and reminiscences and a travelogue of some of the most picturesque cricketing spots in the South West.' - The Cricketer

To buy a copy of Village Cricket Tour click here



Around The Wicket
Around the Wicket is the story of a year in the life of the Little Lampton Cricket Club - a club which seems to have more than its fair share of misfits, ne'er-do-wells and disaster prone members and supporters. MCC member and bestselling author Vernon Coleman believes that the best - and most entertaining - cricket is played at village level.
`This new cricket club will bowl you over! A book to be savoured over and over again.' - The Guardian
`It's a non stop comic book, eminently easy to read. The village cricket match will never be the same again after you've read this.' - Chester Chronicle

To buy a copy of Around The Wicket click here



Paris In My Springtime
'Paris in my Springtime' tells the story of what happened to a naive, inexperienced young man forced through illness at the start of medical school in 1963 to take an unplanned gap year. The colourful characters he meets and the unusual situations he finds himself in form the framework of this story, laced with amusing anecdotes that will keep you laughing. Highly entertaining." - Living France magazine
Is this a novel? Or is it autobiography? The reader must decide. (Not easy...even the author's father got it wrong!)
While sorting through old boxes the author finds a diary he kept during a stay in Paris in the 1960s. He had started medical school but been taken ill and had to abandon his studies for a while. He had two choices: a temporary job driving a fish delivery van or a trip to Paris. After much thought (lasting nearly a second) he chose to go to Paris. And this the story of what happened. Or is it? Who cares? As This England magazine says `Coleman is a very funny writer' and that is probably all that really matters.

To buy a copy of Paris in My Springtime click here



Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War
Inspiring story of an elderly woman's battles with the world. Now a major film available on DVD.

To buy a copy of Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War click here



Mrs Caldicot's Knickerbocker Glory
The second of Vernon Coleman's novels about Mrs Caldicot.

To buy a copy of Mrs Caldicot's Knickerbocker Glory click here



Mrs Caldicot's Oyster Parade
This is the third in the four book series of novels about Mrs Caldicot. (The first book, 'Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War was filmed starring Pauline Collins in the title role.) Mrs Caldicot and her colleagues from the Twilight Years Rest Home win the lottery. Their win is small but it transforms their lives in an unexpected way. A trip abroad results in disaster but Mrs Caldicot and company rise above their misfortune.

To buy a copy of Mrs Caldicot's Oyster Parade click here



Mrs Caldicot's Turkish Delight
Mr David Livingstone, one of Mrs Caldicot's friends from The Twilight Years Rest Home, has unexpectedly inherited a seaside pleasure pier which has a theatre at one end and a hotel at the other. `Is it near the sea?' asks Miss Nightingale. For reasons which become clear, Mrs Caldicot and the others have to move into the hotel on the pier. The local council wants to turn the pier into a dull conference centre. The inevitable excitement, adventure, chaos and joy all follow quite naturally. All the usual characters are here and there are a few new ones too. `Mrs Caldicot's Turkish Delight' is another extraordinary tale of extraordinary older folk.

To buy a copy of Mrs Caldicot's Turkish Delight click here



Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War - The Play
`Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War - The Play' is based on Vernon Coleman's book of the same name. This play can be performed free of charge by amateur dramatic societies anywhere in the world. There are details in the play (both the kindle and the printed versions) of how to apply for permission.This is NOT the script for the film but a play script especially written by Vernon Coleman for theatrical productions.

To buy a copy of Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War - The Play click here



It's Never Too Late
`The entertaining story of how a man in his fifties found a new life in Paris.' - Living France
Tony Davison is bored, tired and fed up with life. He has lost his job and his wife, and doesn't have much of a future.. In despair, he sells his house and most of his belongings and sets off for Paris for a weekend holiday. But what started off as a quick holiday break soon turns into a once in a lifetime experience. It's Never Too Late tells the uplifting story of Tony's search for a new life and happiness in a new country. Full of the gentle humour which are so much a hallmark of Vernon Coleman's books.

To buy a copy of It's Never Too Late click here



Mr Henry Mulligan
The poignant story of a dying man who disappears from the geriatric ward of a large hospital in the English midlands. His wife, suffering from Alzheimer's disease, disappears with him. Where have they gone? And why? A young, newly qualified doctor working in the hospital has made friends with the couple. He tries to find them. His search proves more of a challenge than he had expected and he discovers that he didn't know as much about Henry Mulligan as he thought he did. Only by uncovering some well-hidden secrets can the young doctor find the missing couple. Mr Henry Mulligan is extraordinarily moving and revealing and is based on a true story.

To buy a copy of Mr Henry Mulligan click here



Deadline
'The chase is gripping, the stakes are high and the opposition deadly.' Stewart Peterson, Greenock Telegraph
Mike Watson, an investigative reporter has problems. He's lost his job and his wife has walked out on him. But before he has time to feel sorry for himself he's dragged into a search for a former colleague's bride who mysteriously disappeared while having coffee in a busy Paris café. Watson's search takes him across Europe and exposes a massive insurance fraud and a chain of crooked nursing homes. It also brings him into contact with a former girlfriend he hasn't seen for a long time. Watson is accustomed to dealing with deadlines but the one he faces this time is different, The chase is gripping, the stakes are high and the opposition deadly. The cover photograph (taken by Vernon Coleman) is of a clock sculpture which used to stand outside the Gare St Lazare in Paris.

To buy a copy of Deadline click here



Tunnel
Tunnel is the story of what happens to a group of people travelling by train through the Channel Tunnel between England and France. It's the Eurostar journey from hell. There's a spinster schoolteacher, a bitter and ageing sportsman and a publisher who has been smuggling porn. There are two doctors returning from a conference, a female official from a European bank, a family returning from a rain ruined holiday, an art dealer travelling with his mistress, a male secretary and a computer expert who has left behind a dead prostitute in Paris. A fairly ordinary group of travellers in other words. And then there is an explosion and they're trapped in the Tunnel.

To buy a copy of Tunnel click here



The Awakening of Dr Amelia Leighton
Amelia Leighton is a young doctor working as a family doctor (GP) in a modern practice in London. She hates her work and doesn't much like her colleagues. The practice is rule-bound and bureaucratic. After she breaks the rules by visiting a patient at home, Amelia is given an official warning. She resigns and takes a job in a small, old-fashioned country practice where there is no mobile phone coverage and no appointments system. 'The Awakening of Dr Amelia Leighton' describes how a young doctor comes face to face with the past. But will it be her future?

To buy a copy of The Awakening of Dr Amelia Leighton click here



Dr Bullock's Annals
Dr Bullock's Annals is the diary of a young doctor working in England in 1853. Everything in Dr Bullock's Annals is historically accurate. By today's antiseptic and rather puritanical standards this book is a lifetime beyond politically incorrect and unsuitable for the unduly sensitive. Remember, please that the 1850s were rollicking, rude and frequently barbarous times. Dr Bullock's adventures with a pot of leeches and a strong bone saw may leave you relieved that you are living now and not then. But all was not gloomy for Dr Bullock. His career thrived in a most unexpected way and he found true love in a serendipitous manner.

To buy a copy of Dr Bullock's Annals click here



Tranny by Gaslight
These four stories about cross dressers first appeared in Vernon Coleman's series of books about the village of Bilbury in Devon, England. Vernon Coleman is also the author of Men in Bras and Panties and Briefs Encounter.

To buy a copy of Tranny by Gaslight click here



The Hotel Doctor
Dr Blake Marvel is working as a GP in England when he loses his job, his wife and his home. He take a job in Paris working as the resident doctor at a hotel catering to British and American tourists. Dr Blake is startled to discove he is also expected to look after the girls who work in the bordello next door. This novel by bestselling author Vernon Coleman is packed with curious medical stories, adventures in Paris and unusual encounters.

To buy a copy of The Hotel Doctor click here



Balancing the Books
`Written by Vernon Coleman under the pen name `Don Quixote', this is a savage, satirical, biting, black comedy. It is nothing like Vernon Coleman's usual books. The heroine kills, kill and kills again - but I couldn't help liking her enormously.'
Harriet's husband was an author. He killed himself when his books were 'destroyed' by a series of malicious one star reviews. Harriet, now a freshly bereaved widow, is full of quiet, smouldering rage. She becomes a ruthless, successful serial killer who goes after each of the reviewers and systematically murders them - though cleverly making the deaths look like accidents. This is one sweet delicate looking lady you really don't want to annoy.
You may surprise yourself when you find that you are cheering Harriet on as she dreams up new ways to kill the people who destroyed her life.
An irresistible novella for those who like their humour black, invigorating and slightly bitter.
This book is fiction but how long before it becomes fact?


To buy a copy of Balancing the Books click here



Second Chance
Vernon Coleman has been compared to some of England's best known and loved humourists. Second Chance is a joyful romp of a novel set in the idyllic surroundings of the English countryside. The characters leap from the page as they draw the reader in to this tale of Biffo Brimstone who overcomes the adversity of modern day living by, quite simply, running away. He leaves an unrewarding job, a shrewish and demanding wife and a pair of surly grown-up children and abandons his mundane life. A train journey takes him to a part of the country he has never visited before and he finds himself in the village of Fondling-Under-Water. It is there that his new life begins.Sunday Times bestselling author Vernon Coleman has written over 100 books which have sold over two million hardback and paperback copies in the UK and been translated into 25 languages. His books include Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War (which has been filmed) and the Bilbury series. Vernon Coleman is a qualified doctor and his medical books include Bodypower and How To Stop Your Doctor Killing You.What the papers say about Vernon Coleman and his books:`A piece of good old-fashioned escapism, an easy to follow plot; just right to relax with after a busy day. You would be happy to lend it to your granny or anyone else's granny come to that. This author has the ability to create a distinctive `mind's eye' picture of every character.' - The Journal of the Cricket Society`Settling down with Vernon Coleman's latest novel is one of the best restorative treatments I know for relieving the stresses and strains of modern living. Right from page one you can feel yourself unwind as you enjoy the antics of the wonderful array off characters and their exploits. Terrific reading for anyone.' - Licolnshire Echo`Coleman is a very funny writer.' This England`He has written a book that will entertain, amuse and warm the cockles of tired old hearts.' Punch`His powers of observation combine with his penchant for brilliant word pictures to create a most delightful book that will appeal to all those who appreciate humour and sharp characterisation.' - Sunday Independent`It is the funniest book I have read since Three Men in a Boat.' - Chronicle and Echo`Vernon Coleman writes brilliant books.' The Good Book Guide`Superstar!' - The Independent`Compulsive reading.' - The Guardian`He writes lucidly and wittily.' - Good Housekeepingetc etc

To buy a copy of Second Chance click here



Stories with a Twist in the Tale
All these highly praised stories were first published in national newspapers and magazines ( eg Punch, Sunday Times, London Evening News etc) and are now collected in book form for the first time. Many of the stories were published in the 1960s and 1970s. None are about Bilbury. Most (though not all) of these stories have a twist in the tale. Some have a medical flavour. Some are pure fiction. Some are autobiographical. Some are a mixture of all of these.Vernon Coleman is the author of over 100 books which have sold more than two million hardback and paperback copies in the UK and been translated into 25 languages. His novel Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War has been turned into an award winning movie and several of his books have been turned into TV and radio series.What the critics say: Vernon Coleman writes brilliant books - The Good Book GuideColeman is a very funny writer - This EnglandMarvellously succinct, refreshingly sensible - The SpectatorSuperstar - Independent on SundayBrilliant! - PeopleCompulsive reading - GuardianHe writes lucidly and wittily - Good HousekeepingProbably one of the most brilliant men alive today - Irish TimesA national treasure - What doctors don't tell you, etc.

To buy a copy of Stories with a Twist in the Tale click here



Revolt
`Revolt' by Vernon Coleman is the future story of life in Britain under a totalitarian regime run by overlords from Brussels - who are known as "sprouts". It is based on a true story which hasn't happened yet. It was originally published under the pseudonym Robina Hood (partly because it is quite unlike any of Vernon Coleman's other books). Rod Liddle devoted a whole page in The Spectator magazine to trying to work out the identity of the author. He got nowhere close!
Many readers love the book:
`I enjoyed reading Revolt. I fear that much of the book may come true.' Nigel Farage MEP.
`Deeply serious potential issues, which are peppered with elements of wit and humour pose the question: Is this an allegorical view of the way our world is heading?' - John Weller in Hull Daily Mail
`Based on a true story which hasn't happened yet is the captivating opening statement to this powerful novel. Reminiscent of George Orwell's 1984, we encounter a government in supreme control with bureaucratic corruption, enforced obedience and power eliminating weaknesses such as loyalty and respect. The book is a cleverly conceived encounter between the all-powerful Sprouts and underdog Suspects in a struggle over their country, culture and democracy. It reveals authority becoming the public enemy and the mask of violence. Then comes the revolution. What happens when ordinary people have finally had enough? What happens when good, decent, law-abiding folk are pushed too far by mindless bureaucrats? What happens when the oppressed citizens rise up against a ruthless, fascist state and fight back - using whatever weapons are available to them? Inspirational, funny, exciting and entirely original Revolt will amuse and entertain more than anything published for decades. And, more than anything written since George Orwell wrote 1984, it will make you think hard about the world in which we now live. This is the most explosive novel written for 50 years.' - Bolton News

To buy a copy of Revolt click here



The Truth Kills
The Truth Kills by Dr Vernon Coleman (who is himself a doctor) is the story of Harry Cassidy, a middle aged GP, and Molly Tranter, a young trainee doctor. Cassidy is a hard drinking, cynical bachelor who lives on malt whisky and pub food and puts two aspirin into a glass of whisky if he has a headache. He has fallen out of love with himself, with medicine and with life itself but his feelings of passion and purpose are rekindled by Dr Tranter, a well informed trainee who fights a courageous battle against the medical establishment on a point of principle. Cassidy is won over by her honesty and integrity and rediscovers why he became a doctor. The Truth Kills is a constantly surprising medical drama which explores the bizarre and frequently hilarious experiences of a busy GP who hates bureaucracy, social workers and his own greedy partners, while explaining how spiritual redemption can sometimes come in the least expected way. Through the unfolding chaos Cassidy manages to survive a broken, loveless relationship and to find romance, hope and, surprisingly, a future promising adventure and happiness.
Here's what Country Life had to say:
"The author takes a pop at the police 'and their ungodly spawn', the BBC, which 'never allows a balanced debate', The Guardian - 'if they gave out awards for sanctimoniousness The Guardian would undoubtedly sweep the board' - and, of course, bureaucrats, who are 'all soulless do-gooders, earnest box tickers...neat hypocrisy running through their veins'. ... It is very funny indeed...If you want a GP's uncensored view about the NHS today, consultants, social workers and politicians this is the book for you." "It rants hilariously at every organisation within sight."

To buy a copy of The Truth Kills click here



A Needle for a Needle
A very (very) black comedy about a woman who murders the doctor who killed her son with the covid vaccine. And that was just the beginning in this shocking novella.

To buy a copy of a Needle for a Needle click here



My Secret Years with Elvis
Is This What Really Happened? is a novel. But could it be true? It's the story of what might have happened if Elvis Presley hadn't died but had faked his own death and moved to Paris. Meticulously researched, the book (first published under the title "My Secret Years") describes how Elvis, exhausted and aware that superstardom was killing him, agrees to quit showbusiness and America to start a new life abroad. Colonel Tom Parker approves the scheme because he knows it will boost record sales. The whole affair is carefully planned by a friend Presley met in Paris when he was serving in the army. Read the first chapter and you'll be hooked - you will want to know what happens next.

To buy a copy of My Secret Years with Elvis click here



Home