Passing Observations 121

Dr Vernon Coleman

This is a long standing series of small items which have caught my eye or mind and which seem relevant, startling, amusing or all three. Occasionally, items which appear here may return as a longer piece. Mostly they will not.

1. I did say I would never have an electric car. But Iíve got one and I have to say it is terrific. Antoinette bought it for me. It does 35 mph, the batteries last for ages, it survives crashes without any discernible damage and it stops on the proverbial sixpence. Itís just under 18 inches long and Iím having fun racing it round the garden. Itís the fastest radio controlled car Iíve ever seen.

2. Health and Safety operatives are ever present these days. So, why donít they insist that supermarkets and bakeries install sneeze guards to stop people coughing and sneezing onto bread, buns and cakes? And why donít they tell shoe manufacturers to fit soles which donít slip and slide Ė even on dry pavements?

3. `I was once a mere mortal, like you.í Ė Karl Lagerfeld.

4. Farmers donít understand what is happening to them. They are constantly complaining that they cannot make money these days. And they are complaining about the re-wilding nonsense and the horrors of net zero regulations. The sad thing is that they think itís all down to incompetence. Someone should explain to the poor souls, that it is all deliberate and theyíll all be out of business before the end of the decade. Thatís the plan. Incidentally, the latest idea for re-wilding is the introduction of wild bison. There are some already in Kent where there havenít been any bison for 6,000 years. And the plan to introduce wild boar should be fun. In Italy, around 20,000 wild boar have converged on Rome. Things are a bit glum in Scotland too where, where rampaging wild boar are attacking sheep. Some of them weigh over 30 stone. What fun re-wilding is turning out to be.

5. The BBC has handed out millions of pounds in legal damages. But can you remember any executive or manager responsible being fired or even named? No, nor can I. And thatís odd because the BBC is always quick to name people it reckons are guilty of some alleged naughtiness.

6. The medical establishment (controlled by the drug industry) claims that there is no link between vaccination and autism. All thinking doctors know that is a lie. Vaccines cause brain damage which is then falsely diagnosed as autism to avoid lawsuits, save money and protect the reputation of vaccines. Just compare a graph showing vaccination programmes against the incidence of autism.

7. `I know there is nothing you or anybody can tell me that I donít already know. I really like me, I really do. Iíd like to know me, if I werenít me.í Ė Oprah Winfrey.

8. If you ever wonder why Western governments encourage homosexuality so enthusiastically? Consider this: politicians and conspirators believe that the world is over-populated. What will reduce populations more effectively than encouraging homosexuality? Just an observation, not a social criticism, by the way.

9. Have you noticed that when pictures of womenís team sports are shown in newspapers the picture editors invariably crop out the stands? Could this be because they donít want readers to know that the audience consisted of two ladies and a hot dog seller?

10. When I edited the British Clinical Journal in the early 1970s, I introduced to the UK the idea of giving books starred review ratings (one to five stars). Retrospectively, it was a huge mistake.

11. Children under 12 wonít be allowed to head footballs because of the risk of brain damage. So why is it OK for 13-year-olds to risk brain damage?

12. There is been much talk about doctors receiving huge pensions. Sadly, I retired before the big pensions came into being. This year my NHS pension (from both hospital work and work as a GP principal) will be £124.74 a week. Just thought youíd be impressed.

13. I was excited to see that Iíd missed a new film version of David Copperfield which was made a couple of years ago. And then I saw that David Copperfield is played by an actor called Dev Patel whose parents are Indian Hindus. Mr Patel may be a brilliant actor and a lovely fellow but is he right for David Copperfield? Everyone knows that David Copperfield was the character closest to Charles Dickens himself. In my view, it is hardly surprising that the film was not a major financial success. (The budget was $15.6 million and the box office was $14.2 million.) I see that Mr Patel has also starred as the Green Knight in a film based on the English classic Sir Garwain and the Green Knight. This film was not particularly successful either. (One producer who nearly made a TV series of my Bilbury books about a doctor working in a Devon village in the 1970s wanted to make the lead character `of colourí.)

14. When I resigned from my column on The People newspaper in 2003 (after the editor refused to print a column I wrote criticising the Iraq War), the paperís circulation was 1.4 million. The most recent figures show that the circulation has fallen to 87,000 Ė and itís probably even lower than that now. Not that my leaving had anything to do with the collapse, of courseÖ

15. Global warming nutters stopped the Tour de France and the cyclists had to stand around while the protestors were moved away. Why global warming nutters would want to stop a cycle race is a complete mystery. I thought cycling was supposed to be good for the planet, good for the air and good for people. Apparently not!

16. Energy shortages could hit Britain hard in the winter. Will we be back to a three day working week again? I remember the last three day week. Shops and cafes were lit with candles. It was a bonanza time for shoplifters. And for candle makers, I suppose.

17. Racism isnít about words, itís about deeds. The same is true for sexism. And for ageism Ė the biggest Ėism in the world at the moment. If someone calls me an old man Ė that isnít ageist. If someone stops me getting a job because of my age Ė thatís ageist. If someone compliments a woman on her dress thatís not sexism. Itís sexism if a woman is denied work or mistreated because of her sex.

18. I was planning to create an online encyclopaedia containing lies and misleading stuff about people. I thought Iíd call it Wikilies. But then I realise that it would be too similar to Wikipedia so I abandoned the idea.

19. An Australian who bought a chicken and lettuce sandwich in Singapore and had half of it left when she landed in Perth was fined £1,530 for breaking biosecurity laws. What on earth has happened to Australia? Has everyone working for the government gone completely insane? And why wasnít she fined for the half of the sandwich that was inside her, working its way through her intestines?

20. The bottom 60% of the population in the US hasnít seen a per-capita income rise since 1980. There may be some unhappiness brewing.

Copyright Vernon Coleman August 2022

Vernon Colemanís book `Covid 19: The Greatest Hoax in Historyí was banned four times. But it is now available as a paperback and an eBook. If youíd like a copy please go to or to BOOKS on