Passing Observations 193

Dr Vernon Coleman

1. We should all thank Nigel Farage for beating the British banks and forcing them to behave like grown-ups and for single-handedly forcing them to stop banning customers who don’t follow the official line on the EU, climate change and other nonsenses. In future, banks in the UK will lose their licences if they dare to try to remove banking services from customers who are too moral, too honest and too knowledgeable to accept the lies fed to us all by the conspirators. And we should thank Nigel for embarrassing the BBC for another misleading story. (Do they ever get anything right? They should fact check themselves.) However, Nigel should thank his lucky stars he no longer has an account with Coutts. Many decades ago, I had an account with that bank. The branch, in The Strand and close to Charing Cross Station, was conveniently positioned and I found it amusing that the staff dressed like wine waiters in a posh hotel. They gave me a lovely leather wallet and cheque book holder. Unfortunately, I closed my account because I thought they were incompetent. The bank’s current boss is rumoured to be a Remainer who loves the EU and thinks England should have remained part of what I think is the world’s most fascist organisation. She should be fired. Actually, I think all Remainers should be fired. (The one consolation is that Remainers were keen mask wearers and are all heavily vaxxed. They are not long for this world.)

2. To paraphrase Jean-Paul Sartre: `Of course we can use smart phones. The question is: `Can we not use smart phones?’’

3. The nutters want to stop us using motor cars because it is the easiest way to stop people living in the country and to force them to live in 15 minute cities. Public transport is virtually non- existent in many country areas and no one with sense takes electric cars seriously. It is worth remembering, by the way, that the internal combustion engine has had a far more positive influence on life than the computer, the smart phone and all the apps in the world.

4. What’s the difference between a Remainer and a traitor? I ask because I can’t think of any. Remainers, especially those in public service, should be arrested, tried, and forced to sit in small cells eating cold, congealed cauliflower cheese for eternity.

5. Sunburn is now officially regarded as a climate change disease. You have to laugh, don’t you?

6. The world would be a better, safer place if all cyclists were banned from public roads. This would save them from the risk of being involved in road traffic accidents. And banning them from roads would be good for the quality of our air too because cyclists frequently hold up motorists and, as everyone knows, cars use more fuel and kick out more toxins when forced to travel slowly. While we’re banning cyclists from roads we should also close all cycle tracks since they waste good road space. And cyclists are, of course, already banned from riding on pavements. Where else can they ride their machines, you may ask. Well, that’s up to them isn’t it? I can’t be expected to solve everyone’s problems.

7. Bank of England bosses have each been given £25,000 as a bonus for getting everything wrong. The Bank of England seems to hire only idiots. The last Governor, a Canadian from Goldman Sachs called Carney, was useless. He now appears to have re-marketed himself as an expert on climate change which tells us more than we need to know.) An MP called Chris Pincher was given £7,920 of taxpayers’ money for resigning after allegedly groping two men. Kwasi Kwarteng, who wrecked thousands of pensions, received £16,876 of taxpayers’ money for being a plonker. Liz Truss and Boris Johnson were each given £18,660 for making Britain look a laughing stock and for doing inestimable damage. And the former Treasury Boss Tom Scholar received £335,000 for being sacked. His pay for 2022-23 was more than £550,000 which is even more than BBC employee Huw Edwards was paid for sitting in a chair and reading out loud.

8. Just in case you are wondering, a barrel of oil contains 42 gallons of the stuff – which is just slightly more than we can squeeze into the tank of our new old car. Incidentally, if you ever find yourself looking for a definition that combines the adjectives `sanctimonious’ and `deluded’ just look at a photo of a climate change nutter being arrested.

9. The International Monetary Fund has told the Chancellor to replace stamp duty on properties (payable when properties are sold) with another new tax which will presumably have to be paid annually. This will depress house prices still further and force home owners to sell up and move into cardboard boxes in 15 minute cities. If you didn’t know you’d almost begin to suspect some sort of conspiracy to impoverish us all and force us into ticky-tacky boxes, wouldn’t you?

10. Have you ever wondered what will happen to the Ukraine if the war ever ends? Who will pay the estimated $1.6 trillion required to rebuild everything? You can stop wondering because I can tell you. South Korea is trying to wangle a deal to do the rebuilding but they have no hope. If and when the war ends, the bits of Ukraine which Russia and Poland don’t want will become a wholly owned subsidiary of trillion dollar Black Rock. They will own the country lock, stock and barrel. (By the way, the sanctions which the West put on Russia seem to have done that country a good deal of good. The Russian economy is in much better state than Germany’s.)

11. There is a good deal of racism and sexism in Britain. But contrary to what you might suspect if you listened to the BBC, the main victims of racism are white people. The main victims of sexist behaviour are men. And the most common victims of discrimination are old people.

12. If the Russians decide to target Europe, their primary target will probably be the Channel Tunnel. If you wonder what it would be like to be trapped in the Tunnel after an explosion, read my book `Tunnel’ which I wrote in 1980. (I wrote it before the Tunnel was built and I’m proud to say that the design and route I chose for my novel were the design and route which the builders chose. If they’d asked me they could have saved gazillions in feasibility studies. I just used some maps and common sense.)

13. The doorbell rang. It took me a while to get to the door and I apologised. A workman in dirty overalls and filthy boots was standing there. He’d come to do stuff to something that had gone wrong. He complained bitterly when I met him at the back door and took him into the house that way. `Oh, you want me to use the workman’s entrance,’ he complained. He wasn’t joking. He was clearly irked. `I’m sorry for the delay,’ I said. `I was cleaning my shotgun. The police want to take it off me because they say I lose my temper too quickly but I’ve still got it.’ He was as nice as pie after that. And he declined the offer of a cup of tea so that he could hurry away as quickly as possible. He left by the back door.

14. Most English civil servants retire at 62 and receive huge pensions paid mostly by taxpayers. They have long holidays and oodles of sick leave. Why we molly coddle them so is a mystery.

15. If I go into a car park requiring an App and a smart phone I shall take the owner of the car park to court. If I go into a supermarket which will only serve me if I have an App I shall take them to court for discrimination. I hope everyone else does likewise.

16. A new product called Donanemab is being promoted as a wonder drug for the treatment of patients with Alzheimer’s. Thousands of patients who will be given this drug do not have Alzheimer’s. Read my book `The Drugs Myth’ to find out why.

17. Insane health care workers want to bring back masks. Anyone who promotes the use of masks for anything other than the robbing of banks is a buffoon and mind-bogglingly ignorant. For the scientific truth about mask wearing please read my small book `Proof that face masks do more harm than good’ which is packed with all solid, un-contestable scientific evidence proving beyond doubt that mask wearing isn’t just pointless but also dangerous. Anyone promoting mask wearing is clearly a collaborating traitor working for and with the conspirators. Masks are (as they always have been) an essential part of the enslavement process.

18. I recently saw a bizarre suggestion that the covid `vaccine’ should have first been tested on elderly patients in care homes. That’s indefensibly immoral and frighteningly silly. Most elderly patients in care homes are probably on prescribed medication. And any side effects they developed would have been blamed on their medication rather than the vaccine being tested. In March 2020 I suggested that the vaccine should be tested on two random cohorts of 20,000 people. That’s a big enough number for a comparison between the side effects suffered by the two groups to provide useful information when compared. If you want to know more about vaccines and vaccination programmes than the mainstream media will tell you please read my book `Anyone who tells you vaccines are safe and effective is lying: Here’s the proof’.

19. I was sitting in the conservatory trying to listen to the cricket on the radio. I was wearing a thick jumper and we had the central heating turned on. I could hardly hear the radio for the sound of the steady rain on the roof. I picked up a copy of the Financial Times and saw this headline: `Extreme summer heat will become the new normal.’ Oh, how I wish this could be so. Incidentally, a few decades ago, at this time of year, I used to have to switch TV stations to follow the Open Golf, the Test Match and the Grand Prix. Now, the BBC seems to specialise in obscure women’s sports such as underwater lacrosse and cross country hurdling.

20. Campaigners have apparently protested that NHS fertility rules discriminate against lesbians. I’m sure this is devastatingly unfair but I wonder if I am alone in thinking that the NHS should really be concentrating on trying to deal with the enormous backlog of patients waiting for treatment for cancer.

Copyright Vernon Coleman July 2023