Passing Observations 267
Dr Vernon Coleman
1. If you gave someone a gun knowing that he would use it to shoot children and babies you’d be arrested. So, why hasn’t `Free Suits’ Starmer been arrested for supplying Israel with arms?
2. Britain’s Labour Government has an IQ of 96. That’s not each. That’s all of them clumped together. Would you trust any of them to clean your drains or sweep up your leaves? No, nor would I.
3. People who refuse to use fax machines are to be known as anti-faxxers.
4. There is not, and never has been, any discernible or practical difference between communism and fascism.
5. Here’s an example of inflation in action. In 1966, when I was a medical student, I walked onto a bombed site in central Birmingham where a nice bloke was flogging second hand cars. I bought a Humber Super Snipe for £25. I wrote out a cheque for £25 and the bloke gave me the car keys. There was no annoying paperwork. Apart from some niggles (the windscreen wipers flew off when I tried to use them and the car did 4 mpg) the car was wonderful. If I wanted to buy the same model today it would cost me around £15,000. That’s inflation at work.
6. The aim of all communist governments (and the UK now has a communist government) is to build up the State at the expense of the people and commerce. `Free Suits’ Starmer has already done much to build up the State. Public sector workers now have more holiday, more job security, shorter hours, more pay, more sick leave and tax payer funded pensions worth four times as much as the pensions received by people not working directly for the State. The last Budget in the UK was a perfect example of communism in action. Build up the State and destroy the people.
7. The honours system in the UK is a joke. Starmer a knight? Really, give me a break. How soon before Lammy, Rayner and Reeves are all dames? Actually, it’ll probably be Princess Angela and the Duchess of Lammy. Professional sports people and popsters are given honours simply for earning gazillions. Covid pushers got gongs for pushing a toxic product which didn’t do what they said it would do. In future I shall address everyone I meet as either `Sir Thingy’ or `Dame Whatsit’. Let’s destroy the system.
8. Just seen the best ever sticker on the back of a car (though it was on the back of a truck). It read: `Is there life after death? Fuck with this truck and find out.’
9. Britain has no health care now so Starmer’s plan is to fill empty buildings with expensive equipment and staff the buildings with unemployed hairdressers and nail technicians who have neither training nor knowledge but who know how to look smart in white coats. The death rate will continue to soar and Starmer will be happy.
10. Please feed the grey squirrels. They get hungry in winter and love nuts of just about any variety.
11. Remember that the threatened NHS digital ID card will be just an identity card and it will be the death knell for privacy and humanity. Thankfully they have been trying (and failing) to computerise and digitalise the NHS for over 50 years. In many big hospitals medical records are still kept in cardboard envelopes.
12. Everything in the world is too complicated. We have had our truck for eight years and I still haven’t worked out how to turn on the radio or play a CD.
13. Most people now receive more fraudulent phone calls than real ones. No wonder that only two thirds of homes now have a landline.
14. A woman who didn’t get a leaving card when she left her job sued the company she left.
15. The Welsh Government has destroyed what used to be a wonderful country. The M4 is no longer a motorway and someone has thought up a dozen reasons to slow traffic to hopping speed. (`It might get foggy’, `It is foggy’, `It was foggy’, `The road is grey’, `The air in Wales is polluted’, `Going slow destroys businesses and is therefore a good thing’.) The average speed on motorways in Wales is now 7.3 mph. The 20 mph limit in towns is a farce. The locals know that travelling at 20 mph increases pollution, increases fuel usage and means more accidents so they ignore the 20 mph sighs. Wales is now a sad country and one where the authorities clearly loathe strangers coming in. The only shops not boarded up are nail parlours and charity shops. The Welsh should stand up and fight to rescue their once wonderful country from the toxic global warming nutters.
16. Does `Free Suits’ Starmer have more pairs of spectacles than Elton John? (I’d guess that at least Elton John probably paid for his.)
17. The minimum annual wage for adults in the UK is £23,795.20 a year. Politicians lie about it but Starmer’s Government pays old age pensioners a third of that. A third of the minimum wage. It’s no accident that tens of thousands of old people will die of hunger or cold this winter. Please chant: `Starmer is a granny harmer’ as often as you can. Most Britons would rather that old folk could eat than that we gave expensive bombs to other countries. And abandoning the stupid railway known as HS2 and telling the royals to live off their own money would mean every OAP could live in luxury.
18. `Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly for the same reason.’ – Eca de Quieros.
19. In my first book `The Medicine Men’ (1975) I pointed out that the drug industry owned the medical profession. It’s still true. `The Medicine Men’ has been republished and is available via the bookshop on www.vernoncoleman.com
20. `Happiness consists more in small conveniences or pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen seldom to a man in the course of his life.’ – Benjamin Franklin.
21. When thirty-year-olds say they can’t afford to leave home what they really mean is that they haven’t grown up yet and like having Mum cook and clean and wash for them.
22. The average UK boss receives 120 times the salary of the average UK worker. That’s obscene. Pascal Soriot of AstraZeneca was paid nearly £16.9 million last year. That’s worse than obscene. Britain’s leading lawyers have increased their hourly rates by 40% over the last five years – charging £449 an hour and putting the law beyond the hope or ordinary citizens.
23. Gibberish about mental health spouted by royals et al has done infinitely more harm than good.
24. The chances of Britain hitting the Government’s daft net zero target by 2030 are the same as its chances of building the 1.5 million houses they’ve promised and the chances of `Free Suits’ Starmer paying for all the freebies he grabbed.
25. Any doctor who tries to diagnose and treat patients without seeing them face to face is a lazy psychopath unsuited to a career in medicine and about much use as a ten-year-old electric car.
26. Professor Sir Abit Bloted tells me that a new one pint syringe has been invented so that children can be given all their vaccinations in one go. `The vaccines are going to kill them eventually and this should speed things up,’ says Abit. `Doctors will be paid £1,000 a jab and so earn their huge fees in one go instead of having to give lots of little vaccinations.’
27. `All clear’ is a meaningless phrase when applied to patients recovering from treatment for cancer. Cancer patients should please read `What doctors won’t tell you about chemotherapy’ by Vernon Coleman.
28. By size and weight, barnacles have the biggest penises in the animal world. But how do barnacles have sex?
29. Home improvements recommended for energy saving will cost around £18,000 (twice that if the money is borrowed) and save £600 a year. That’s a rotten return.
30. Amateur Dramatics Groups looking for a play to produce in 2025 should look at my play `Mrs Caldicot’s Cabbage War’, which uses a different script to the movie, and which can be produced free of charge. For details see the bookshop on www.vernoncoleman.com From November 13th to November 16th 2024 my play is being performed by Latchingdon Arts & Drama Society. All four novels about Mrs Caldicot are now available in a single hardcover or paperback volume (for details see the bookshop on www.vernoncoleman.com It’ll make a great Christmas present!
NOTE
When you start thinking about buying Christmas presents please go to the bookshop on www.vernoncoleman.com.
Copyright Vernon Coleman November 2024
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