Passing Observations 7

Vernon Coleman

1. The Government has decided that in future vehicles passing on the M4 past Port Talbot must travel at less than 50 mph. This is being done because the air around Port Talbot is so thick that you could chop it into cubes and use it as house bricks (though the local council seems itís very nice and if bottled would make good competition for the stuff available at the top of Swiss mountains). Presumably, the civil servants who made this decision have some secret way of knowing that the pollution is caused by cars and lorries and has absolutely nothing to do with the local steelworks which appears to the uninitiated to be belching out some rather suspicious looking smoke.

2. We get the governments we deserve. And having suffered through Theresa Mayís pitiful and painful years of abuse we will, I fear, soon be suffering under Jeremy Corbyn. What the devil did we do to deserve all this punishment? Maybe it was just what we didnít do. Maybe those who care should have spoken up, shouted louder and made ourselves heard above the cacophony produced by the Remainers and the silly climate change mythologists.

3. Why is the word `nationalistí regarded as a `goodí word when applied to the Scottish and the Welsh but regarded as a `badí word when applied to the English? (The answer is simple. The EU approves of Welsh and Scottish nationalism because Wales and Scotland will remain regions in the United States of Europe. But England will be broken up into nine regions and so English nationalism is unacceptable to the eurocrats.)

4. There are strong moves afoot to make vaccination compulsory. If vaccination is so wonderful (and so free of side effects) why wonít anyone debate with me? The authorities constantly claim that all doctors approve of vaccination but thatís not true. I am, as far as I know, the only doctor in Britain who regards vaccination as doing far more harm than good but I am quite prepared to debate the issue on national TV or radio.

5. The biggest single bad thing that happened to health care in the last few decades was accepting the EU law which made it possible for GPs to stop providing their patients with 24 hour cover, 365 days a year. It was this law which destroyed the value of general practice and put a massive strain on Accident and Emergency hospitals. The closure of local hospitals (also a result of EU legislation) hasnít helped. How many deaths are directly due to the fact that GPs no longer provide round the clock cover? No one knows but my professional estimate is that it is probably in excess of 100,000 a year.

6. It is frequently claimed that Christmas is a German tradition which we adopted because of Queen Victoriaís husband. Not true. Christmas was an English tradition which the Germans adopted Ė the Queenís hubby merely introduced the pine Christmas tree and various other commercial folderols.

7. Around 50,000 old people died last winter because they couldnít afford to keep warm. Rising costs of heating (largely a result of absurd `greení policies introduced to keep the seven-year-olds happy) are the main cause. I wonder how many kiddies realise that their demonstrations killed Granny and Grandpa?

8. I was amused to see photographs of climate change protestors in Germany. They were campaigning in an open cast coal mine and most of them were wearing white plastic protective clothing. Plastic.

9. Climate change hysterics (including the five year olds and most politicians) donít seem aware that geologists report that for around 500 million years our planet has been much warmer than it is now. Any current slight increase in global temperature is merely part of the earthís natural temperature rhythm. Daft legislation introduced by politicians who are desperate to appease the braying mob is causing poverty and distress for absolutely no reason at all.

10. It is, I think, time to remember Blaise Pascalís wise thought: `The sole cause of manís unhappiness is that he does not know how to remain quietly in his room.í

Copyright Vernon Coleman 2019