You Can Call Me Sir Dr Vernon Coleman MB ChB DSc FRSA

Dr Vernon Coleman MB ChB DSc FRSA

Britain seems to be handing out knighthoods, damehoods and all sorts of other nonsensical honours to every Tom, Dick and Nick these days.

So I would like to make it clear that Iíve got one of these geegaws.

My late pal Lord Pandit Professor Dr Sir Anton Jayasuriya arranged it for me and itís real. Well, itís as real as Nick Cleggís or the one David Beckham is so desperate to get his hands on.

I have never used it before but I am a Knight Commander of the Ecumenical Royal Medical Humanitarian Order of Saint John of Jerusalem, of the Knights of Malta. You can look it up. Itís on the googly thing. Iíve got a huge certificate (four times as big as the one they gave me when I got my medical degree) and itís hanging on the wall in the boiler room.

And if youíre not impressed by that (and you darned well should be) I am also a member of the Ancient Royal Order of Physicians dedicated to His Majesty King Buddhadasa. And in the year 2000, I was awarded the Yellow Emperorís Certificate of Excellence as Physician of the Millennium by the Medical Alternativa Institute.

Impressed now, eh?

But Iím not showy.

Iíll just stick with the Knights of Malta thing.

And from now on I would like to be known as Sir Vernon Coleman.

Though, actually, I do have a bit of a problem.

Should I be Sir Dr Vernon Coleman or Dr Sir Vernon Coleman?

Actually, thereís a solution.

Since Iíve got a DSc as well as a medical degree I think Iíll be Dr Sir Dr Vernon Coleman.

Up yours Cleggy.

Copyright Vernon Coleman 2018