Thoughtful Advice for Undecided Voters

Vernon Coleman

I understand that some voters, particularly young ones, are having difficulty in making a decision between the various candidates available for the General Election on December 12th and, of course, the parties they represent. So here are some helpful thoughts:

If the Tories win we will almost certainly leave the EU. It will mean that the country will continue to be run by a bunch of Hooray Henrys who cannot be trusted. But we will leave the EU which will be a very good thing and at least we will be buggered by British politicians rather than foreign bureaucrats.

If Labour win we will end up with a Communist government. Citizens will receive lots of perks and armfuls of free money. The snag is that the money wonít be worth anything. The pound will collapse so dramatically that savings and pensions will become worthless. Taxes will soar so high that most people who earn money will either leave the country or stop working. Most companies will go bust and the only people employed will be the ones working for the Government. The Government will quickly run out of funds and wonít be allowed to borrow any. We will probably stay in the EU so fascists and Nazis will be pleased by that but we will likely be thrown out for having a substandard economy and being a Third World Country.

Liberal Democrats
Heaven knows what will happen if you vote for the Liberal Democrats. They donít believe in democracy so Swinson et al will doubtless ignore the voters and do whatever takes their fancy.

Brexit Party
The Brexit Party has its heart in the right place but they canít form a Government or win any seats or have any influence so you should only vote for them if you want the UK to stay in the EU.

The Scottish Nationalists want to leave the UK and turn Scotland into an independent country so that they can join the EU and become a region in a large, fascist State founded by ex Nazis and run by bureaucrats. Vote for them if you are confused.

Green Party
If the Greens get power we all get very cold and starve to death. Only the suicidal should vote Green.

Copyright Vernon Coleman December 2019