Do TV Detector Vans Really Work?

Dr Vernon Coleman MB ChB DSc FRSA

The awful BBCís equally awful TV Licence cronies (famous for their nasty threatening letters Ė designed to scare the bejesus out of decent citizens) have always claimed that they have vans driving around the country which can detect working televisions.

These vans have little dishes on their roofs which are supposed to be able to identify TV sets.

The BBC and its licence collecting arm say that these vans enable them to pound on the correct doors when looking for sensible folk who havenít coughed up an arm and a leg for a TV licence.

(There is no sensible argument in favour of the BBC licence fee. Why should taxpayers be required to pay for a licence to watch the BBCís constant outpouring of repeats and pro EU bleatings? Why should honest patriots pay to receive programmes made by an organisation which confesses that it has a pro EU bias? Why should anyone pay the BBC for the right to watch programmes made by companies which have nothing whatsoever to do with the BBC and which donít receive a penny of the licence fee?)

Anyway, back to the detector vans.

The BBC bullies claim that their vans can identify folk watching TV without a licence.

I donít believe them.


Because if they really had vans which were capable of such things, the BBC would have long ago made a little film of such a thing happening.

The film would show a TV detector van driving along Acacia Avenue. The vanís operator would shout `Stop! Iíve got one!í And burly blokes would leap out of the back and hammer on the door of the home of the poor sod identified as watching crap without a licence.

And they would show that little film at least ten times a night to frighten the living daylights out of decent, honest folk who preferred to feed their families rather than shovel more of their hard earned pennies into the BBC executivesí swollen pension fund.

But they donít do they?

Have you seen such a film? No, nor have I.

They just SAY they can do it.

And thatís why I donít believe TV detector vans do what theyíre supposed to do.

I have no doubt that the vans exist. And I accept that they are driving around the countryside polluting the air with their exhaust fumes. Iím sure they have little dishes going round and round on the van roofs.

But I donít believe for one second that they can identify householders watching TV.

I think it is all a piece of pseudoscience.

Itís a myth up there with the Loch Ness Monster and the Honest Politician.

So, hereís a challenge to the BBC:

Send out one of your vans with an independent judge sitting in the back.

And then make a little film showing one of your vans identifying a TV set being used without a licence.

And Iíll put your little film on my YouTube channel.

Bet you a detector van full of top grade bullshit that you canít do it.

Copyright Vernon Coleman 2018