Corbyn and Labour up the Ante with Even More Generous Manifesto

Vernon Coleman

Jeremy Corbyn and his team of 14-year-old advisors from the Young Communist Party were so excited by the enthusiastic welcome for their generous, gift-packed manifesto that they’ve now published an improved, even more exciting, revised, supercharged version.

If Labour win the General Election they promise to:

1. Make every weekday a bank holiday. The proposal to make four new bank holidays was massively popular. So, now they are adding five new bank holidays every week – a minimum of 260 new bank holidays a year. ‘This will boost productivity enormously,’ said a spokesperson.
2. Give everyone in the country a house worth £1 million. And a Ferrari and a yacht. At least one big yacht or two small ones.
3. Provide unlimited free plastic surgery to everyone over the age of six.
4. Reduce the voting age to five. ‘If kids is old enough to go to school they is old enough to vote,’ said the spokesperson.
5. Allow children aged two or more to choose their own sex, parents and names. ‘It’s wrong to force young kids to grow up with parents they might not like and names they don’t like,’ said Korky the cat, a cartoon character and one of Jezza’s closest advisors.
6. Stuffed toys will be allowed to vote in constituencies where the Labour Party does not usually do well.
7. Everyone in Scotland will receive 12 extra bank holidays. This will be achieved by making the Scottish year last 377 days.

Copyright Vernon Coleman 2017

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