Men Need Support Too


I was pleased to discover recently that the first men's refuge is now officially open - about time! I'm amazed that it has taken this long for the authorities to take seriously the growing need for a place of safety where men can go to to escape their fist-beating wives. But why has it taken until now?

Husband battering is a serious problem which has been ignored and, worse, scoffed at for years. The idea of a man being beaten up by a woman seems ludicrous to most people, but that's because man has always been perceived to be the stronger sex. And to be beaten by a member of the physically weaker sex is unfairly seen as a slur on the man's masculinity. We automatically assume that a person should be able to look after him or herself when confronted by somebody who is weaker. But the majority of men have been taught from childhood that it's unacceptable to hit a woman. So when a woman hits a civilised man his moral instinct is not to hit back. Is that really so wrong?

Abuse is abuse, no matter how physically small or big the bully is. Being someone who is vehemently against bullying of all kinds to people of all kinds, I am delighted that male victims of wife battering are finally being taken seriously. However, there's still much progress to be made.

What about support for men who have been raped? There are many organisations to help counsel women who have been raped but, as far as I'm aware, there is no organisation to help male rape victims. I have met a male rape victim whose trauma of being raped by two men was compounded by the fact that his ordeal was never taken seriously. In today's so-called humane society, surely this isn't right?

Before all of you women out there start writing to me to accuse me of selling the sisterhood out, this article isn't about men versus women, this article is about support for victims of abuse. Gender shouldn't be an issue. I would just like to see all victims of abuse being given equal help regardless of what sex they are.


Copyright Donna Antoinette Coleman 2004

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